It is often said that if one wants to change their bad habits or addictions that they should remove themselves from where they started those habits. While studying abroad I want to use this as a opportunity to work on myself not only academically but also mentally, spiritually, and in my day-to-day life. I usually do not set distinct goals for myself because I usually see the path I need to take. But this experience is sending me out of my element and I want to start with a goals and intentions. In December I will return to this post and evaluate my efforts.
1. Be Patient with Myself
I am endlessly cruel to myself in this regard. I always expect myself to be prepared and on the mark at all times. But I know that being on my own in London and outside of my comfort zone will challenge me and force me to work on this aspect of myself. I must face those moments of impatience with a degree of respect and compassion for myself. I cannot expect myself to know everything, and no matter how much I research. I get frustrated and start degrading myself when I fail and that is not a sustainable attitude. I will get lost and I will feel overwhelmed but this does not mean I failed or am not capable.
I want to be at peace with a given moment and take that moment with patience.
2. Limit Social Media
This goal comes in two parts. Part one has to do with social media and patience. A quick look at my apps and how much time I spend on them is disturbing. In relation to the above goal, my patience in life has also decreased. Social media lets us have everything at a moment's notice and allows us to absorb information quickly almost without thinking. Trying to go through a book to find what I need has become toil rather than something I used to love. As an English major, reading is a huge part of my degree and I am finding it is harder and harder to read a physical book. I want to re-train myself to read books like I did as a child. In past trips to Europe, I have found that people tend to read physical copies of newspapers and books rather than on their screens. I want to emulate this not only to fit in but kick a nasty habit that I have had for a while.
Part two has to do with my addiction for outward validation. I tend to look for the next "Instagram-able" moment rather than taking in what I am experiencing. I tend to get anxious when people do not respond to texts or 'like' a post. At the beginning of the year I always pick a word to focus and work on for myself. This year's word is 'Enough.' I worry that I am not far enough ahead in life or am not making an active effort to increase future prospects. I judge my success and failures on others based on their social media. This of course is all a facade. I want to limit my social media and use this time to work on myself. I am enough and I do not need 'likes' to determine how successful I am when I can reflect inwards and come to my own conclusion.
I want to grow patience in the world.
3. Budget
I have never had the opportunity to properly budget. I have a meal plan at school and I have my housing secured at the beginning of the year so rent is not a concern. I grocery shop maybe every two weeks and tend not keep track of every purchase. I never buy a lot so I have never felt the need to lay out my monthly expenses but as I get older, I have growing anxiety about not knowing where every paycheck is going and how much I actually have after necessary expenses are paid. This is not to say I am frivolous with money but I want to get better at personal finance. While in England, I need to plan for meal costs as I do not have a meal plan and since there will be so much to do, I have set a goal to keep my finances under a certain amount per month. I plan to keep a weekly spreadsheet showing how much I spend of food, entertainment, etc.
I want to cultivate good habits in finance now before I am in the "real world", so when I am on my own for real, that I have a basis for good money habits.
4. Learn How to Cook/Meal Prep
As mentioned, I do not have a meal plan and will therefore need to hunt down my own food. Having been to England before, I know food is cheaper and thus have set a budget for food at £ 70 per week. This might be a lot, I will see once I am there, but my university has a meal voucher for the same amount so that is what I am basing this estimate on and hopefully I can cut down on this expense by cooking in my building. I want to be healthier about cooking and be a proper adult. I have already started to practice meal prepping and cooking dishes that are healthy and use one pot.
I want to be self-sustainable in my meals and not rely on expensive or processed meals.
5. Enamor Myself in the World
This one is less straightforward and focuses more on the after-effects of this adventure. I brought this up briefly in #2 and after writing that goal wanted to expand up that theme. I want to love the world past how many 'likes' a picture can garner. One of my favorite quotes/pieces of advice is to treat the world like a tourist. This will be easy in London as it will all be new and shiny to me. But once I get home I will fall into the pattern of not thinking what I have is special. I want to see my environment as amazing and not to take it for granted no matter where I am. I want to take note of how I see the world as a new person and translate that into my day-to-day.
I want to learn to appreciate where I am.
6. Find My Writer Voice
This goal is more of an internal goal relating to this blog specifically. I have never felt like my writing has my voice in it, rather a student's voice attempting to put the right words together. I have only ever written academic pieces for school and for the corresponding academic audiences. I want to find my authentic voice that feels like mine. I have been trying to write more fiction and thought pieces and I always feel that I am imitating whoever I am reading. I know this is natural and normal but there is no consistency. I have been told my writing sounds like a dry academic in his 60s and I have also been told that my writing is overly flowery as if I am trying to force a mood. Perhaps my voice is that of a dry academic, but at least then I will know. As I am writing these goals I already am starting to hear my internal voice but we shall see how it progresses. I know that I am a strong academic writer but I want to do travel/other writing in my career and I need to be accessible. This is good forced practice and help me hone and develop what I think I sound like. Here I can freely practice until I have a better sense and hopefully feel less lost as a writer.
I want to come discover what my authentic voice sounds and writes like.